Thursday, December 30, 2010

Top 5 of 2010

Christmas is over, Boxing Day was insane and the New Year is just around the corner. A lot has happened this past year. Some of it good and some of it not so good. Whether it was inspiring or ridiculous, 2010 was an interesting year for all of us.  If you think I am going to discuss all the good that has happened this past year, then you have another thing coming.  Here are the top 5 things that annoyed me in the year 2010.  Why top five?  Cause I’m too lazy to come up with 5 more!
5.) TOYOTA – Even though the recalls occurred in 2009, it did cross over in 2010.  The recalls were due to the foot pedal being stuck to the flood mat causing numerous Toyota cars to crash. This affected me because I had plans to purchase a 2010 Corolla. For many years, I was driving around in a beat up, piece of shit 95 Grand AM (or as my friends like to call it, the ‘grand slam’.) So when the time came to buy a new car, I decided on a Toyota.  On the day said purchase of the Corolla was supposed to be made, Toyota announced recalls of most of their cars.  The sales rep told me if I bought the car, I wouldn’t have it until 3 months after the recall.  Screw that! I needed a new car right away!  My friends were sick of driving my sorry ass around!  This resulted in me moving my efforts towards a Mazda 3. No longer did I have to drive around in that junk pile of that ‘Grand Slam’ and I couldn’t be any happier.  “Addition by subtraction” as they say.
4.) Harmonized Sales Tax (HST) – Want to increase the Canadian economy?  How about combining PST and GST and tax everything you can get your hands on including GAS! Gas prices increased due to the HST and I for one hate it (although, I’m not sure anyone actually likes it?  If you do, give me a shout)! Paying over a dollar per litre on gas is, as the French say, ‘nuts’. I don’t know much about economics (seriously, check my college audit) but I do know that the average tax payer agrees with me that paying 1.15 per litre is ridiculous. I’m moving to Alberta, who’s with me?
3.) CONAN O’BRIEN VS NBC – First, let me preface this by saying I am a huge Conan fan. So when Jay Leno announced he was leaving the The Tonight Show, NBC promised it to Conan, and I for one couldn’t be happier. Leno did get his own show after that...which was the exact same show as the Tonight Show, just at an earlier time slot. Both shows received poor ratings and Conan got the ugly end of the stick which led to NBC forcing Conan off the air for seven months paving the way for Leno to return to ‘his’ Tonight Show (which was actually Conans Tonight Show, that was originally Lenos tonight show). Now Conan found a new home on TBS and his show is funnier than ever. I still miss his old jokes, one’s he can’t do because they are “the intellectual property of NBC”.  Any fan of Conan wants to hear “in the year 2000!” again. Bring it back man!  BRING IT BACK!
2.) TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS – This is a team that can’t do anything right. No matter how hard they try, they always find new ways to fuck it up.  It’s so bad now that fans are throwing waffles on the ice.  Mind you, I think that is pretty funny and original but still. Enough is enough! What really grinds my gears the most is that they don’t even have a first round pick! I have to believe that this team is the biggest joke in the NHL (well, next to Wang’s Islanders.  Need I say more?). As much as I love the Leafs, they have to be somewhat competitive. That’s all I ask for. Let’s hope that in the New Year they can turn it around and move from 3rd last to 7th!!!!!.
1.) THE JERSEY SHORE – Now this is a show I CAN NOT stand and when MTV announced on January 2010 for a second season, I just about lost my mother fucking mind! This means that someone is paying for this to air on MTV.  Think about that for a second. I fucking hate MTV to begin with but this show is flat out retarded.  Now I’ll probably get some heat for this because, unfortunately, there are some people out there that actually enjoy this show! It confirms my belief that people really just enjoy Italians. They love Rocky.  They love The Fonz.  They really enjoyed the Sopranos.  There’s a pizza restaurant at every corner…. so why not watch a bunch of Italians live up to the stereotype of tanning, working out, and putting a litre of gel in their hair. I don’t understand how anyone could enjoy watching a bunch of simple minded individuals. Maybe Stewie Griffin was right when he said “deep down we all secretly yearn to be Italian and stupid!” 
Well I hope you enjoyed this list and hope that 2011 will be even more interesting than 2010. Happy New Years everyone and I’ll see you in the New Year. This has been another instalment of...a Classic Insight.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Xmas Blog!

So its winter, its fucking cold and Christmas is just around the corner and if you are like me, your one of those last minute Christmas shoppers who doesn’t have clue what to get.  Ah the joys of Christmas shopping. Don’t you just love getting into your car and driving around store to store through all that traffic or freezing your asses off in the cold waiting for the bus to arrive.  There are a lot of things that annoys me about Christmas shopping.  I hate driving to stores in insane amount of traffic.  Don’t even bother trying to change lanes cause most people are assholes and won’t let you in.  I also hate driving around the parking lot and looking for a spot and when you do find one, some asshole comes along and snipes it from you.  Or when you see someone about to leave from their spot, they take forever to leave cause the jackass is yapping away on their cell phone.  The worst is when you're trying to the leave the parking lot and people neglect to yield.  I think it’s because people are trying to get the hell out of there as fast as possible.  Also, the stores are jam packed with crazy people.  Especially stores like Future Shop or Bestbuy.  I find it humorous when people are playing the motion games on the Playstation Move or XBOX Kinect and realizing they don’t have a clue what the hell they are doing. The worst is when you look for a particular gift and it’s no longer in stock or they don’t have the right size shirt you’re looking for.  Kind of annoying!  Try shopping on Boxing Day! That’s even crazier.  People are lining up in front of stores the night before.   I can only imagine how they are spending their Christmas day. Its like “So what did you do on Christmas?” “Oh you know...open up gifts, had dinner with my family, and now I’m going to wait in line in front Bestbuy like a douchebag!”  Bunch of Savages in this town. So in the end I just want to say Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Holidays Everone!...and if you have a problem with Happy Holidays then Happy Shut the Fuck Up!  This has been...a Classic Insight

Monday, December 20, 2010

UMM...check out your newstands on the corner of Madison and Fifth

















Just wanna give an honourable mention to my buddy Carlo Palanza and the rest of Madison and Fifth for gracing us in the pages of the latest issue of UMM Magazine. Check it out if you haven't and listen to their tunes on MySpace and iTunes.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Prolegomenon

So I have a blog now. Since work is being a bitch right now I have a bit of free time on my hands. So I decided to create a site that expresses my feelings towards today's pop culture. This isn't the first time that I did a website or blogs. As far back as I can remember, I had a site on the ol' geo cities (if you people even remember geocities) with my buddy Ern with are profile pictures with me being Steve Sanders from 90210 and Ern being Zack Morris from Save by the Bell.  It got somewhat popular but I got lazy with the updates and then forgot up it completely.  Years past and I started a blog on facebook called "The Angry Clerk" expressing my hatred towards my former job at Farmer's Pick.  It got great reviews and my fellow co workers at time told me they enjoyed it and thought it was humorous.  Due to the popularity of it, I had too stop just in case my boss reads them and fires me for telling the truth.

Most of you who know me, probably witnessed or herd stories about how a goof I am and only find me funny when I do something stupid. I want to show that I can be funny through interpretive writing and I hope these blogs can do that.  I hope you enjoy these blogs as much as I do writing them.  I'll probably write a blog once every one or two weeks or whenever I have the time. Pretty much whenever I feel like writing them. I'll let you know via facebook or twitter. Ya I tweet....not that there's anything wrong with it. So this has been...a Classic Insight!

P.S.  If you want you can post comments about my blogs weather it is positive or negative.  You can tell me how good it is or how I suck and i'm talentless like the L.A. Clippers. Oh ya one more thing....PLEASE SUBSCRIBE! I would really appreciate it and It would mean a lot to me if you do. Thanks a bunch!!